ll By Michelle LaBorde, MA, LPCC

In his book, “A New Earth: Awakening to your Life’s Purpose” Eckart Tolle teaches that our “inner purpose is to awaken. It is as simple as that. You share that purpose with every other person on the planet – because it is the purpose of humanity”.  This is the basic, fundamental aspiration of transpersonal psychotherapy… for the transpersonal counselor to walk with the client in whatever way and to whatever degree or level that supports the client’s spiritual journey toward awakening and connecting with their highest Self.

There are eight basic assumptions about a transpersonal approach to psychology that can be viewed as the “underlying principles that unite transpersonal therapists” according to Brant Cortright in his book “Psychotherapy and Spirit: Theory and Practice in Transpersonal Psychology”. While there are many approaches that come under the umbrella of transpersonal psychology, they all assume that:

1. Our essential nature is spiritual.

2. Consciousness is multidimensional.

3. Human beings have valid urges toward spiritual seeking, expressed as a search for wholeness through deepening individual, social, and transcendent awareness.

4. Contacting a deeper source of wisdom and guidance within is both possible and helpful to growth. 

5. Uniting a personal conscious will and aspiration with the spiritual impulse is a superordinate health value.

6. Altered states of consciousness are one way of accessing transpersonal experiences and can be an aid to healing and growth.

7. Our life and actions are meaningful.

8. The transpersonal context shapes how the person/client is viewed. 

Cortright argues that “Traditional psychology has focused on motivational hierarchies – survival needs, sex and aggression, the need to integrate feelings and impulses, finding intimacy, developing a cohesive self, and actualizing the self’s potentials through meaningful work and activities. Transpersonal psychology completes the process by putting this motivational path into the context of a spiritual journey”.  The goal of the spiritual journey is greater consciousness for us as individuals and “from a transpersonal perspective, consciousness heals”.  

Religions, philosophies and healing traditions throughout human existence have played a role in shaping how we view our life’s purpose during our short time here on Earth and all these wisdom traditions have given direction with regard to our spiritual journey. “As soon as you rise above mere survival, the question of meaning and purpose becomes of utmost important in your life”, Tolle says. The field of transpersonal psychology seeks to, via scientific research, integrate mind, body and spiritual practices in support of transcendent experiences that offer access to what might be referred to as the soul, the spirit or our deeper, ancient wisdom in this essential search for meaning and purpose. Carl Jung, who is recognized as the founder of transpersonal psychology was deeply interested in transpersonal phenomena from the time he was a child and spent his career mapping the human psychological evolution toward individuation or wholeness.  Thanks to Jung’s work, a transpersonal psychotherapist might recommend dream work, with its rich language of symbolism, archetypes and collective metaphor, for example, as way of offering a client a window into their interior life. As the field has evolved, a variety of practices and experiences have been identified that serve to open the window to our greater awareness and consciousness. Mindfulness practices, including meditation, are probably the trendiest and most touted by the mainstream right now but yoga, exercise, hypnosis, psychedelic substance induced experiences and even sex all present opportunities to help break us free from our heads and the trappings of the world and introduce us to our own higher nature or as Tolle says, invites us into “the peace of God”. 

The simplest moments – admiring a sunset, watching a baby sleep – can be seen as a holy instant where we are gifted with an opening to our true essence. “The world can penetrate us if we let it. If we relax our habitual anxieties for a moment and all our ideas about the world, all our interpretations, and just let ourselves see and hear it as it is, then we can feel the living energy of the world. We connect ourselves directly to it. This experience of direct connection might seem extremely simple, but it can affect us profoundly” writes Jeremy Harward. This wisdom is transpersonal. It invites us to step out of grasping, habitual thought patterns which keeps us separate from receiving divine direction and from connecting with our higher Selves and others. Connecting to the living energy of the world is our work as human beings, and this work is well facilitated by a transpersonal psychotherapist.

Resources:

Cortright, B, (1997). Psychotherapy and Spirit: Theory and Practice in Transpersonal Psychology, New York: State University of New York Press.

Friedman, H. L., & Hartelius, G. (2013). The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Transpersonal Psychology, NY, NY: John Wiley & Sons. 

Hayward, J.W. (1998). Discovering basic goodness. In Sacred world: The Shambhala way to gentleness, bravery, and power (pp. 1-13). Boston: Shambhala Publications.

Tolle, E. (2005) A New Earth: Awakening to your Life’s Purpose. New York: Penguin (Kindle version)

About Michelle

Michelle is a mother, a partner, a friend, a spiritual seeker, a licensed psychotherapist and someone who enjoys connecting with herself and her higher Self within a mindfulness meditation practice. She has a BA in Communications and Humanities from the University of Colorado and an MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling with a concentration in Mindfulness-based Transpersonal Psychology from Naropa University. Michelle’s practice, Soul Care Counseling, offers mindfulness-based practices that support clients seeking to become less anxious, less stressed, less reactive and more grounded, present and connected with their own inner ally. As a result of their work together, clients are able to communicate with themselves and others with greater clarity, care and compassion.  https://michellelaborde.com/

On the other hand, persistent can also represent the exact opposite. Sometimes, it describes a person who perpetually bangs their head against the wall, expecting something to happen or change. They never make progress and seem stuck in place.

Which type of persistent are you?

Knowing the kind of persistence you practice can help make your goals a reality.

The Positive Side Persistence 

Positive persistence represents your drive, spirit, and ability to continue on your path. Despite setbacks, you can keep going. Eventually, you reach your goal.

Many stories circulate about people who—despite failure, disappointment, or incredible odds—were able to achieve their dreams.

People retell these stories to help inspire others, as well. This persistence has an essential factor: vison. When being persistent is positive and healthy, it is because you have a long-range vision for success in mind.

When Persistence Isn’t Healthy

The opposite side of the persistent coin is when you keep running up against obstacles to your goal, but you can’t break through. Or, maybe you keep trying to break through walls using the same strategies.

Mostly, it feels as if you are banging your head against a brick wall. Nothing you do changes the status quo. Sometimes it seems as though you’re moving backward, not forward.

It’s very frustrating, and this persistence can cause you to fall into despair. Your dreams don’t feel attainable. Those around you might tell you to give up and do something else.

I would disappoint you to give up. You’d feel like a quitter. How could you possibly give up? After all, our society doesn’t lionize quitters. It celebrates people who don’t give up.

How to Find Balance

Persistent doesn’t have to be an either/or kind of situation. Instead, try to strike a balance between the two extremes.

For example, let’s say you always wanted to be a writer. You work very hard, producing several short stories and even a book draft. However, you can’t get anyone to publish your work. Even when you try to self-publish, you don’t get the response you were hoping for. Now what?

Consider these thoughts:

• Ask yourself whether you want to continue pursuing this goal.
• Is there a way to strike a balance between doing your writing (which you love) and doing other work to make ends meet?
• Could you use your writing skills in other ways besides trying to become a book author?

The intent behind asking these questions is to help open new and unrealized doors. However, it can be challenging to see those options without some support.

How Coaching Can Help

Professional coaching helps you to understand all your options. It also works to uncover new opportunities in your life, too.

A coach will work with you to understand your goals, the journey you have taken so far, and help provide insight for the future. Together you can uncover new paths that you couldn’t see before.

Blindness is another downside of persistent. It can cause you to put blinders on and only focus on one particular goal that you miss out on other opportunities. Coaching helps you take those blinders off so you can see all of the options available.

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Being persistent isn’t necessarily 100 % good or bad. When used appropriately, it can be a beneficial mindset to face adversity. At the same time, however, it can cause you to miss out on other possibilities, or it keeps doing the same thing while expecting different results.

If you are struggling with the negative form of persistence, ask for help from a professional coach.

Please contact me today for support.

About the Author: 

Brenda Bomgardner is in her encore career after completing a successful 17-year career in Human Resources at a Fortune 500 company. She is the author of Sweet Spot, to be released in the fall. The above post is an excerpt from her book, Sweet Spot. You can find free resources be clicking Sweet Spot. One of her greatest joys is seeing people move beyond life’s roadblocks toward a fulfilling and meaningful life. She believes each person has a purpose in life waiting to be realized that evolves over a lifetime. Step by step she walks with you on uncovering how to bring your dreams to fruition.  Brenda is a counselor, coach and clinical supervisor specializing in practicing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy/Training (ACT) which is a cutting edge evidenced-based processes. This means there is scientific research proven to show ACT works. She loves the great outdoors, ATV riding, adventure travel and family. To learn more about Brenda visit her About Me page. 

My basic definition of anxiety is “fear of the future.” 

Our minds get caught up in a lot of “what ifs” and before long, our bodies are joining in, and we find ourselves having trouble breathing, with hearts racing, feeling very restless, perhaps some nausea or heartburn. 

When this happens, I am in full flight or fight mode, and my nervous system is reacting as if there is a large, hungry lion in the room and I need to run to escape. This is what a panic attack might look like, and most people who experience them develop some method of self soothing to cope. They might go for a walk or run, or listen to calm music, or slow their breathing down.

Other people live with chronic, ongoing daily anxiety that just chews away at their minds, damaging mental and physical well being.  It’s as if the train tracks for anxiety have been laid down in the mind many years ago and that train keeps chugging along on it.

In fact, that is what happens in our minds. Habits of thought repeat themselves over and over, and most of us don’t even realize we are having these thoughts. We are wired to worry and to anticipate trouble- this negative bias has protected humanity for many generations. We need to be able to anticipate problems ahead so that we can plan for them and be prepared. We don’t need to live in them all the time, though. A nervous system that is always set to high alert makes it very difficult to function in the world.

Also, we have the ability to rip these well -traveled tracks up, and to lay down new tracks, with a train carrying new thoughts now running along in our brains.

We start by understanding how those thoughts got there, and then move on to how to replace them.

People with trauma in their pasts often struggle with anxiety. Trauma can “set us up” for anxiety, based on what we have experienced in our pasts. Other people are simply wired to worry more.  Add to this that we do exist in a very challenging world that contains many things worth worrying about.

To take a holistic, spiritual approach to anxious thoughts is to acknowledge that they exist, and to accept that, for all of us, a certain amount of anxiety is simply part of being human. It can help to write down your anxieties, or to say them out loud.  This can help to stop the spiraling thoughts of one anxiety leading to another- all the “what ifs?” Movement is a great way to calm yourself- anxiety creates heat and energy in the body and working off the energy by walking or other movement can be very helpful. So is listening to music that calms you. 

Then there is using the calming breath.

Sometimes I think people downplay the importance of the breath because it seems too simple; and because it has become a catch phrase to tell someone, “Take a breath!”  However, slowed breathing is just what the nervous system needs in order to begin to calm itself, allowing blood to return to the brain so that our reasonable mind can function. There are many types of slow breath techniques; the one I like best for calming anxiety is a “cooling breath.”

Sit in a comfortable position, preferably with spine straight and shoulders relaxed. Begin by breathing in fully through the nose, filling the lungs completely. Pause for a second, and then slowly, slowly breathe out through the mouth. Repeat several times, until you find your heart rate has slowed. Bring your attention to your heart center, and notice what is coming up for you. Notice any feelings in your body. This is just sitting with emotions and allowing them to be. When thoughts come up that are anxious or negative, just let them go. You might even thank them for helping to keep you safe.

Now, get up and do this again the next day, even if this is not an anxious day for you.  With continued practice, it is possible to soothe the mind and the nervous system by tapping into your wider, deeper Selves: your soul and your spirit, your true being.

For learning more about how the brain and nervous system work and guidance with a spiritual perspective, I would recommend reading anything by Mark Waldman and Andrew Newberg. Mark is a psychologist and Andrew is an MD who studies neurobiology. Their writings bring together science and spirituality in a way I find very enlightening.

Faye Maguire, MA, LACC, is a People House private practitioner working with youth and adults, using a transpersonal approach to therapy. Counseling is her second career, after being a business owner for nearly 30 years. She enjoys working with people experiencing life transitions, grief and loss, depression, anxiety, trauma, addictions, relationship issues, and figuring out life’s direction, using a holistic approach. Please contact her at 720-331-2454 or at fayemaguire@gmail.com for more information.

Major Depressive DO is one of the most commonly diagnosed mental health issues in our world today.

Most patients are treated with a combination of medications and therapy, and many people experience an improvement in their symptoms. However, many do not. Or sometimes, this treatment works for a while, and the depression starts to return. Medications may be adjusted, and a different therapeutic approach tried. These are generally accepted practices, and I encounter many clients who are comfortable with the idea that, “I simply have a chemical imbalance, and I must accept it and maintain my treatment.” This is successful treatment, and I am thankful we have behavioral and medical treatments to aid our clients.

What if we instead see depression as a spiritual crisis, a “dark night of the soul” that springs from living an unfulfilling life devoid of meaning, or from a lack of deep personal connections with other human beings?

What if I have a sense of not belonging to my family, my friend group, my work team?

And what if I just continue to live my life, going through each day stoically, telling myself there is something wrong with me, that other people seem happy, that I just need to keep going and be grateful for what I have? This seems to be an acceptable course of action for many people, but what if, for some people, there are ongoing feelings that there could be more to life, but they have no idea how to accomplish it?

Depressive symptoms often include a sense of emptiness, a lack of enjoyment in life, a sense of worthlessness or hopelessness, disengagement from social connections, and a feeling that life challenges and obstacles are just too great to be overcome. So many people tell me, “I am just overwhelmed. All I can do is cry. Or sleep.”  Depression often comes after major life changes or losses, and can sometimes be intertwined with grief. Depression often accompanies chronic pain or disabilities. Depression is a part of trauma and anxiety related disorders.

Therapeutic empathy is a big part of the therapeutic bond. 

It can be challenging to simply be with another’s pain without wanting to fix it. However, studies have shown, and most clients will affirm, that it is the therapeutic bond which is the most important part of healing for the client.  It shows that the therapist can be present with the suffering of another human being, that or she is not suffering alone.

This is spiritual connection, being a fully present witness to another’s pain without trying to get right to work on healing it. Acceptance of the pain and struggles of life can be the first step to healing it.

Although therapists are trained to only disclose personal information to a client when absolutely necessary, I believe that sometimes it can be helpful to disclose our own struggles with depression, substance use, or other mental health issues. This can help in creating a sense of equality between the client and therapist, and when there is a sense of equality, there can be a therapeutic bond as well as a spiritual bond that can be healing for the client. There can become what the mystic Martin Buber called the I-Thou relationship, in which each person is involved in creating a sacred, healing bond.

Spiritual tools used in therapy can include asking clients to try meditation, if they aren’t already practicing meditation. I encourage my clients to meditate, and sometimes will practice with them in session. We talk about the goals of meditating, and why it can be so helpful with depression. Depression takes us away from our higher and deeper selves, the spirit and soul that are our true selves.

I like to think of spirit as being our higher self, the expanded and free self that has perspective and knows that “this, too, shall pass.”

The soul is our inward, deep self, quiet and filled with eternal peace and wisdom.  These essences surround and fill our physical bodies, but when we are depressed, we have forgotten-or never knew- these parts of ourselves that, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, can never be hurt or damaged. Meditation can open us up to our essence, our inner peace and outer knowing, that eternal aspect of ourselves that cannot be hurt or suffer.

Yoga, Tai Chi, or martial arts practices can be helpful in healing depression, and serve as true mind/body/spirit practices that will often unleash some deeply held feelings in our bodies. I will never forget a yoga session during which “Pigeon Pose” caused a huge outpouring of tears that was nearly uncontrollable. I was embarrassed to be weeping in front of other people, but the teacher came to me, put her hands on my back, and just sat with me till the tears stopped. I didn’t know what was happening, or why. She explained that I had been holding on to some hurt, and it was in the parts of my body stretched by the pose. I was able to explore this through journaling and gained an understanding of what painful memories I had been carrying in my hips. True mind, body, spiritual healing.

Here is a list of some of my favorite mind/body/spirit teachers and authors:

Mona Lisa Schultz

Jack Kornfield

Tara Brach

Eckhart Tolle

Thich Nhat Hanh

Faye Maguire, MA, LACC, is a People House private practitioner working with youth and adults, using a transpersonal approach to therapy. Counseling is her second career, after being a business owner for nearly 30 years. She enjoys working with people experiencing life transitions, grief and loss, depression, anxiety, trauma, addictions, relationship issues, and figuring out life’s direction, using a holistic approach. Please contact her at 720-331-2454 or at fayemaguire@gmail.com for more information.

What does the integration of the whole being look like in therapeutic practice? How do we address the separation of self that we have come to accept as the norm, and so begin to function with integration of the whole being as our new norm?

First, let’s look at some definitions. What do we mean when we speak of mind? Let’s see it as consciousness inhabiting a physical brain, or operating from that brain, like a computer that is able to take in and process information. Recent science is showing us that our mind is also working throughout our bodies, and that nerve cells in the digestive system communicate directly with the brain.  In this way, our mind is not only intellectual ability, reasoning capabilities, etc. It is the seat of our consciousness, and it links our bodies and our spirits.

How does mind differ from spirit?

Let’s think of the spirit as our essence, our energetic beings that inhabit the body as the mind inhabits the brain. Our bodies are the houses, a temporary home for that part of us that is eternal. Our bodies, our brains, are temporary dwelling places for spirit and mind, the aspects of our beings that never die.  

Science as of yet, has no explanation of why consciousness exists. Most of us feel that we have a soul or spirit. We know that there is some mysterious energy that motivates us to think, to dream, to create.  We feel there is a connection between this mysterious energy and how we live our lives, how well our health is, how our work, social, and financial lives manifest. Most of us focus our primary attention on our outward lives, finding a career, creating a home, supporting ourselves and our families, making friends, finding interesting things to do. These are the basic necessities of life, and they deserve our attention; without them, we would have no physical life beyond simply survival. This is the basic underpinning of Abraham Maslow’s well known hierarchy of needs, which I brought up in my last blog post.

The hierarchy is usually portrayed as a pyramid, with the bottom being basic physical needs, and the tip of the pyramid being “self-actualization” or a direct knowledge of one’s spiritual essence.

But what if our spirits and our consciousness need more tending?

What if we were to discover that, if we spent more of our precious time tending to these unseen aspects of ourselves, we would find our outer lives improving as well? What would happen if we turned this hierarchy on its head, and decided to prioritize taking care of our spiritual selves?

As the practice of psychotherapy and counseling continues to blend the standard accepted Western models of diagnosis and treatment with Eastern practices such as mindfulness, meditation, and body centered practices such as yoga and tai chi, we find CBT and DBT protocols have emerged as accepted ways to treat human beings.  Both systems incorporate the technique of mindfulness, or staying focused in the present moment, as a method to cope with anxiety and depression. EMDR is widely accepted as a proven treatment for trauma, and it involves treating memories stored in the body and mind, and images that represent these memories.

Practicing mindfulness and meditation are helpful ways to encourage clients to feel their bodies, notice what messages the body may be sending, and noticing when we might get an intuitive “hit.”  Somatic or body centered therapy can help clients focus on what messages pain, illness and discomfort might be trying to send us. These practices acknowledge that “mental disorders” are not truly mental at all, but spring from memories, beliefs, and ideas carried in the body and the mind. 

I am trained in Jungian and transpersonal psychology, and I like to use dreams as a way to work with clients to understand messages from the body, the unconscious mind, the soul and the spirit. We might use a light trance state in a session, in which all aspects of the being are present and engaged: body, spirit, and both conscious and unconscious minds. In this state, it is possible to gain greater insight into how our bodies, minds, and spirits communicate with us. It becomes possible to befriend and therefor, to better understand one’s symptoms. Dream images can be used as a gateway to working through issues. The slowed breath is used to calm the body and to create a relaxed state in which we be more receptive to what our whole being is expressing. From there, we work toward making positive changes in our lives by starting to let go of negative beliefs and transforming them into healthy, integrated actions.

Here are some of my favorite Mind/ Body authors:

Candace Pert

Richard Hanson

Herbert Benson

Andrew Weil

Faye Maguire, MA, LACC, is a People House private practitioner working with youth and adults, using a transpersonal approach to therapy. Counseling is her second career, after being a business owner for nearly 30 years. She enjoys working with people experiencing life transitions, grief and loss, depression, anxiety, trauma, addictions, relationship issues, and figuring out life’s direction, using a holistic approach. Please contact her at 720-331-2454 or at fayemaguire@gmail.com for more information.

We often hear about “treating the whole person”, which is an acknowledgement that modern Western medicine and psychology has, in practice, separated human beings in disparate parts and treated those parts as if they exist in a vacuum, unconnected to the rest of the person. Medicine has become the domain of specialists, highly educated in a specific area of health. In many ways, psychology has also become the domain of specialists, and it can be difficult for clients and patients to untangle the different modalities and discover which treatment will best serve their needs.

It seems as if physicians treat the body and counselors treat the mind and emotions.

Spiritual practices also may have contributed to this separation, as they have often placed the person’s spiritual needs above and beyond the physical and the realm of emotional life, imparting the belief that one’s eternal soul is a more important concern than physical needs and health. Spiritual leaders often give up many quotidian needs in the service of their spiritual well being.  However, Abraham Maslow recognized in his hierarchy of needs that one must have their basic physical needs met before being able to pursue spiritual goals.

It seems that science has taken us apart in order to learn about how we work, and that spirit calls out to put us back together.

How do we “put a person back together”, therapeutically? 

Perhaps I have experienced childhood or adult physical or emotional trauma, neglect, or other life experiences that have taught me that life is to be feared and people, in general, not to be trusted. This may have taught me to “live in my head” by avoiding feeling my body and my emotions. It may have caused me to numb my feelings or misuse my body through drug or alcohol abuse, or by eating disorders, angry outbursts, or self harm. This dissociation from the body is also dissociation from my soul and my spirit. I might be living on auto pilot, disregarding physical symptoms or seeing them as unrelated to my thinking mind. I might struggle to articulate what I am feeling.

I may resist feeling at all.

It can be uncomfortable or frightening to allow myself to feel my body or to let myself acknowledge long buried emotions. Sometimes smothered emotions emerge as chronic depression, uncontrolled anger, physical illness, or ongoing anxiety.

Do I say to myself, “I wonder why I am feeling so sad much of the time?” Or “I don’t know where that panic attack came from.” It is as if I am stuck in a level of depression or anxiety and not willing to bring it up into the light and examine it. It could be that looking at is seems just too overwhelming. I might be caught and never be able to free myself from the despair, pain, or anger I am carrying in my body.

But the body and the heart never lie.

My mind can lie to me, because it may be filled with ideas, beliefs, mental habits, opinions, and negative cognitions that come from my family of origin, my culture, physical and emotional trauma, or my religious upbringing. They may not be my truths. By bringing these mental habits, the feelings and emotions I carry in my body, I can free myself from the weight of unexamined fears, memories, and experiences. I can bring my mind into alignment with my body, my soul, and my spirit.

This is true integrity, the integration of my being into living a life that manifests my deepest beliefs, values, and priorities. I am then able to know that my work, my personal relationships, my daily actions are expressing who I truly am as a human being, body, mind, and spirit.

Here is a list of some of my favorite authors on the subject of body, mind and spirit integration:

 Larry Dossey

Carolyn Myss

Rudolph Ballentine

Christian Nothrup

Deepak Chopra

Faye Maguire, MA, LACC, is a People House private practitioner working with youth and adults, using a transpersonal approach to therapy. Counseling is her second career, after being a business owner for nearly 30 years. She enjoys working with people experiencing life transitions, grief and loss, depression, anxiety, trauma, addictions, relationship issues, and figuring out life’s direction, using a holistic approach. Please contact her at 720-331-2454 or at fayemaguire@gmail.com for more information.

“Once there was a poor motherless child who had no shoes. But the child saved cloth scraps wherever she found them and over time sewed herself a pair of red shoes. They were crude but the child loved them. They made her feel rich even though her days were spent gathering food in the thorny woods until far past dark.

“But one day as she trudged down the road in her rags and her red shoes, a gilded carriage pulled up beside her. Inside was an old woman who told her she was going to take her home and treat her as her own little daughter (1).”

The little girl climbed into the carriage and went home with the rich old woman. The gilded carriage looked comfortable and less stressful, but it was a trap. To the child’s sorrow and horror, along with the child’s ratty clothes, firstly the old lady burned the child’s beloved red shoes. 

And life for the child slides painfully downhill from there. 

Her Red Shoes Represent Her Creative Life; the Trap is the Price

Jungian analyst Pinkola-Estes compares that loss of the red shoes to a woman’s self-designed life and passionate vitality. They represent a step toward integration of her deepest self into everyday life. 

She says to imagine traveling down the road of our lives, in our homemade red shoes, and a mood comes over us, something like: “Maybe something else would be better; something that isn’t so difficult, something that takes less time, energy, and striving.” She calls it a trap. But the gilded carriage isn’t the trap, as that’s normal for the ego to want life easier. 

No, the trap is the price. The price is soul famine for the creative spirit. The price is a starved soul. The price is aridity. The little girl has to give up her creative soul life. The child must remain proper and silent. The senescent woman allows for no yearning, and definitely no fulfilling of any yearning. 

It’s devaluing your soul life, and letting others be complicit in that devaluation. It’s like having a loved one but yet you do nothing to show that love or commitment. You ignore what’s of value to him/her. “Later,” you say. “Later, I’ll do what you want, later I’ll pay attention.”

Honor Your Soul

Your soul’s disappointment and subsequent pain is no different, knowing it’s not important to you as you plan your day ignoring its silent urgings.

I’ve seen it happen to both women and men. They’re going along with their lives, honoring their passion to be a masseuse, a parent, a gardener, an artist, a writer, a meditation teacher—fill in the blank. Along comes something—anything, a partner, a job—a distraction so he/she doesn’t have to work so hard. Or perhaps it’s guilt: “This isn’t what my family wants me to do.”

And before she knows what’s happened, she’s middle-aged and doesn’t know who she is anymore. A deep sadness sets in. The ennui has seeped deep into her psyche. Maybe she’s depressed and sees no reason to live. She watches TV all day eating Bonbons. Life has lost its luster, its joy. Her doctor prescribes anti-depressants for her, which cut her off from her truth-telling emotions and their wisdom.

6 Steps to Hasten Your Creative Soul’s Return 

1-Welcome the dullness, the ennui, the weariness. Your body and psyche are trying to tell you something.

2-Sit with it mindfully, as Jon Kabat-Zinn taught: Mindfulness is paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally, to the unfolding of experience moment to moment. 

3-Watch what surfaces. Watch for excesses and their costs to soul, psyche, and instinct.

4-If possible, find a supportive counselor/therapist who understands life’s journeying. Find a person who encourages your process of coming to wholeness, who tells you this is normal. If you’ve pushed your psyche into a soul-famine, begin to respect its desires. Surround yourself with people who support you.

5-Every day upon awakening make the choice to do—and be—something that celebrates your creative soul. If a poet, spend a few minutes reading poetry or writing down those few words running through your head that won’t leave you alone.

6-It DOESN’T mean you ignore and/or abandon your sacred commitments to family. It means you resolve to honor your soul, that life-giving force within you. It isn’t either/or; it’s and/both.

What Gave You Life Today and What Brought Death to You?

In the 1500s, Catholic priest Ignatius of Loyola co-founded the Jesuit Monastic Order, at the heart of which was self-examination. Ignatius developed an entire monastic practice around these questions: “At the end of the day, what gave you the greatest joy today? And what brought you the greatest sadness? What brought death? And what brought life?” 

That which gives one joy and life is encoded in your DNA, it’s what gets your DNA wiggling around with joy, what you’re created to do—your “marching orders,” as it is sometimes called.

I stepped into a gilded carriage as a lost and confused 18-year-old when I fell into the Jesus Movement in the 1970s. At the time it seemed the right way to go, as my choices didn’t seem to be getting me anywhere. The movement quickly morphed into a patriarchal authoritarianism which told me I had to remain “proper and silent,” and follow the injunctions of the Apostle Paul and submit to the male leadership. 

It offered me an easy way to live, as I was rescued from making decisions, from uncovering myself. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my soul had gone deep into hiding in order to protect herself. Over the decades I’ve slowly coaxed and drawn my creative soul out of its cave.

In 2020, resolve to honor your soul, especially so if you’re experiencing a soul famine by neglecting your passions through devaluation. Listen, look, and act—until calling yourself back becomes a habit. Be the gift to the Cosmos you are designed to be!

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Notes & Sources: 

1. Pinkola-Estes, Clarissa. Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype. Ballantine Books, 1992. 

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About the Author: Rev. Mary Coday Edwards is a Spiritual Growth Facilitator and People House Minister. A life-long student of spirituality, Mary spent almost 20 years living, working and sojourning abroad in Asia, Southeast Asia, East Africa, and Latin America before finding her spiritual connection at People House and completing its Ministerial Program. Past studies include postgraduate studies from the University of South Africa in Theological Ethics/Ecological Justice, focusing on the spiritual and physical interconnectedness of all things. With her MA in Environmental Studies from Boston University, abroad she worked and wrote on environmental sustainability issues at both global and local levels, in addition to working in refugee repatriation.