Here’s what happened – we’ve all been through a collective trauma and for some of us that trauma hit very close to home and became personal trauma. There has been little to no guidance for any of us though, on how to begin the healing process in order to transition back to our NEW normal. Because the truth is that nothing will ever be the same for any of us again. This experience has changed us and now it is so important to become grounded so we can process our feelings, integrate the experience so we can learn and grow from it and in doing so, boost our individual and collective resilience. 

What is grounding? Mindfulness is the practice of staying present to whatever is happening in the moment without judgement and grounding is the process of helping our bodies and mind stay in that present moment. Grounding helps us come back in to our bodies when we’ve lost touch with the here and now and our thoughts create fear and anxiety in us.  What does being ungrounded feel like? In her new book “Tending to the Sacred”, Ashley River Brant describes being ungrounded as when “we are unfocused, easily distracted, anxious, disconnected from feeling pleasure…” These states of being ungrounded can manifest in each of us in any number of ways including:

• Dizziness, feeling spaced out, light headed or a floaty feeling
• Having difficulty concentrating
• Forgetfulness, forgetting appointments or other important things
• Misplacing or losing things
• Feeling generally unwell, totally lacking energy, waking up feeling tired and drained
• Continually daydreaming
• Having increased sensitivity to light and noise
• Feeling over stimulated and jittery
• Bumping into things or other general feelings of clumsiness
• Getting lost while driving, even when you have a GPS, you just can’t seem to go the right way, even when the area is quite familiar to you.
• Having out of body experiences without meaning to and feeling that they are not within your control
• Being unable to carry on a normal conversation, including losing track of what you were saying

The antidote to all these uncomfortable experiences is to get grounded! “The practice of grounding is to bring our energy back down into our bodies and the Earth, creating roots that anchor us in this physical reality. When you are grounded, you are present and rooted in your being, as well as connected to the essence of who you are and how you are authentically aligned to show up in the world” explains Brant.  She recommends a daily grounding practice that she suggests “can strengthen intuition, maintain healthy boundaries, fortify the aura, balance emotional energy, promote clarity, build confidence, reduce stress and anxiety, help you sleep, boost motivation affirm your purpose and trust and even cultivate better posture as you stand more rooted in yourself”. 

There are many ways to practice grounding but the most fundamental is to breathe. Breathing, slowly, deeply, mindfully signals to our brains that we aren’t actually in danger and allows us to come back to our bodies in a way that feels safe. Using our five senses is a powerful and researched-supported way to foster this sense of safety and groundedness too.  Try this 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise: slowly and deliberately place your feet firmly on the ground and breathe; intentionally and steadily. Then, using your gift of sight, describe five things you see in the room you are in right now. (for example, “I see my dog snoozing and my house plants, etc.”). Next, name four things you can feel (“my feet on the floor” or “the air in my nose”). Now, name three things you hear (“traffic outside”). Name two things you can smell right now (or two smells you like) and finally, notice one thing you can taste in your mouth (remnants of the coffee you had earlier perhaps). Now, pause and get curious. What do you notice after this exercise? Do you feel more quiet, more centered, more you? If this feels good and you’d like more, try these calming and grounding activities too:

1. Get into nature. Feel the sun and the wind on your skin and smell the fresh aroma of the outdoors. 

2. Move your body in any way that feels good for you – walking, running, biking dancing, yoga – and focus on what your body feels like as it moves. 

3. Connect with animals or children, both of whom are skilled at being present and grounded. 

4. Rest… get more sleep and take a nap. 

Resources:

Brant, A.R. (2021). Tending to the Sacred: Rituals to Connect with Earth, Spirit and Self. Sounds True, Boulder Colorado.

About Michelle

Michelle is a mother, a partner, a friend, a spiritual seeker, a psychotherapist and someone who enjoys connecting with herself within a mindfulness meditation practice. She has a BA in Communications and Humanities from the University of Colorado and an MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling with a concentration in Mindfulness-based Transpersonal Psychology from Naropa University. Michelle’s practice, Soul Care Counseling, offers mindfulness-based practices that support clients seeking to become less anxious, less stressed, less reactive and more grounded, present and connected with their own inner ally. As a result of their work together, clients are able to communicate with themselves and others with greater clarity, care and compassion.  https://soulcaredenver.com/

               Our first step in bouncing back from the pandemic asks us to validate our experiences in the last year, to know that yes it was hard for most of us and that any feelings of stress, grief, anxiety or depression are warranted and are the product of processing challenging experiences. Along with this step towards validating our experience, we might also normalize our experiences. Many of us have struggled in some way shape or form and the data as collected by Mental Health America clearly shows this struggle. You are not alone in how challenging the year may have been and our struggles as broadly as they may range should be normalized. After all of the uncertainty, loss and struggle, our feelings and responses to those feelings are a normal reaction to this collective trauma and shared experience. In validating and normalizing our experiences, we can have compassion for the burdens we’ve been asked to carry and the healing that has begun to occur.

               Next, it is important to name the challenges in returning to some level of normalcy. For many of us, we will be facing work and social environments that we have not been connected with in quite some time. This can bring up stressors, social anxiety, personal insecurities and even trigger old trauma as we begin to experience environments and relationships that have been lost during the pandemic. It may be wise to make an effort to pace yourself as you re-acclimate to these environments. Along with this, folks may have developed or experienced an increase in problematic coping behaviors as a result of coping with the pandemic. What did you struggle with before? Was it difficult to maintain boundaries that allowed for self-care? By naming these challenges, we can become more aware of how we might support ourselves in this transition. If we do not name these challenges, we may struggle with feelings that direct our behavior in ways that make the transition to some normalcy more difficult. If you are in therapy, you might work with your therapist to identify challenges, if you are not in therapy, you can practice this exercise on your own or with a trusted friend, partner or family member. Of course, if you anticipate this to be especially difficult, you can reach out to a therapist that can walk you through this process. What post-pandemic challenges will you be facing?

               Finally, it is important to make a plan, will you need to pace yourself in this transition, will you need to practice additional self-care, have concrete boundaries or will you need to connect with supportive persons? There may be an inclination to experience a bit of a social binge, pacing yourself, setting boundaries and practicing self-care will allow for this process to be much smoother. You might identify some of the thoughts, fears or anxieties that you are having and challenge any aspects of this narrative that might be unhelpful or untrue. With a plan, you can get clear about how to make this transition the smoothest. In that we’ve all experienced this trauma together, please remember to be kind, while most of us have struggled in some way shape or form during the pandemic, you never know what the person next to you in line at the store has been through, kindness begets kindness and the world could use a whole lot more these days, we are still in this together!

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” -Carl Jung

https://www.mhanational.org/issues/state-mental-health-america

“I consider myself to be genuine, compassionate and enthusiastic about the work that I do. Specializing in working with men from all walks of life, I strive to provide exceptional psychotherapy tailored specifically to each individual client and their unique needs. From time to time, I work with co-therapist in training, Cooper a French Bulldog Puppy. As co-owner of Elevated Counseling & Wellness, feel free to reach out with any questions or concerns.” 

Craig Freund MA, LPC is a former intern from the Affordable Counseling Program. Craig currently is the co-owner of a group practice in Denver called Elevated Counseling. Craig is also the Vice President of the People House Board of Directors. Connect with Craig at craigfreund@elevatedcounseling.org or (720)515-3563.

I mean it! …and I’m not being sarcastic! It’s a major theme in my therapy sessions these days.

At the beginning of the pandemic, I think we all imagined that people would just go inside and get it on (that is if they had someone to get it on with) and a wellspring of pandemic babies would come up. 

But surprise! That didn’t really happen. 

Pretty much everyone I talk to is not really having sex these days even if they have someone to do it with. 

The stress, boredom and the lack of novelty is impacting us in so many ways… that go far beyond our sex lives. 

Even just being chronically stressed is a huge burden on our sex life. 

I wish I had something to write about other than the pandemic. But I don’t. It’s unescapable, ubiquitous, dominant, scary… and ridiculously persistent.

I don’t have any special words of wisdom to endow on you. But I do have a book that has helped me incredibly throughout difficult times and that helps me bring some compassion to myself in these confusing times…. “Transitions: making sense of life’s changes” by William Bridges. 

What is so groundbreaking yet so simple is that Bridges outlines the anatomy of transitions. Transitions happen on an individual level so frequently and can be so disorienting.  

Bridges outlines three stages of transitions: endings, the neutral zone and new beginnings. These often overlap or could all be happening at once. And there are specific characteristics to each stage… no matter what kind of transition you are going through.

The neutral zone is the part of the transition that doesn’t make sense; It’s the in between stage… the liminal stage. This is the middle part where you’ve let go of whatever ended but haven’t yet formed the new beginnings.

 And it’s confusing! 

The thing is we are not only going through this individually… this is a global transition and individually we are all experiencing a different part of that. Not only are we figuring out where we fit in this new reality but we are waiting for the world to catch up and it’s not ready yet. 

Some days I wake up feeling like a wind up toy that is being wound and wound but still in it’s little box. I’m so eager for something to happen and things to be back to something. And there are times when glimpses of something new peek through.

No, it won’t happen tomorrow or in a month. This will be a slow gradual reemergence…. But eventually things will change and emerge into something new. 

It’s just that we are still navigating the in between world….we can’t pick up the pieces yet because the wrecking ball of Covid-19 is still swinging around.

There’s no right way to navigate the neutral zone.  Some people are more passive and some more active. It’s disorienting and stressful. 

The neutral zone is the psychological equivalent of a chrysalis. Y’know the cocoon phase. What started as a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, but what happens inside that little shell probably looks like cellular chaos. I don’t know if science has the ability to document exactly what happens in this chrysalis phase yet, but I can imagine that a caterpillar practically dissolves itself. Ok, I’m going to be googling for a while tonight about this, but my point is this butterfly is a non-thing for a while. It doesn’t exist as one or the other, and is just an egg of mush. 

Yeah, this world right now is the psychological equivalent of an egg of mush……How disorienting is that! And that is what we are all going through! So give yourself a break here, let your brain be mush at times. And allow yourself time to reorient, or just be mush. Let’s take the pressure off getting back to life so quickly. Two years of crappy sex is not in any way a determinate of your value as a person or how your sex life will be in two years. Just imagine all the butterflies that are going to be birthed in the next few years (don’t forget to put yourself in that image as well).

Although there is no one way to do it, here are some helpful transition tips from our friend, William Bridges:

Transition Love and Work Checklist: [can also be applied to pandemics] 

1. Take your time
2. Arrange temporary structures
3. Don’t act for the sake of action
4. Recognize why you are uncomfortable
5. Take care of yourself in little ways
6. Explore the other side of change
7. Get someone to talk to 
8. Find out what is waiting in the wings of your life
9. Use this transition as the impetus for a new kind of learning
10. Recognize that this transition has a characteristic shape

From:

Bridges, William. Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes. Reading, Mass.: Addison-Wesley, 1980. 

How will you navigate what’s next? We’re more than six months into a pandemic with more months to come, even with the promise of a vaccine. 

Anger: A secondary reaction to pain, not good or bad—but what you do with it

1-TURN OFF THE NEWS. I cannot stress this enough. We as a species come packaged not only to love, but to grieve loss. We are equipped to mourn. But we are not equipped to take in all the pain that comes from a continual exposure—visual and verbal—to what we hear and see nonstop through television, print news, and social media. Turn off or silence updates for your phone, tablet, and laptop. I recommend checking news feeds once in the morning, and then again once in the afternoon—not late at night before you go to bed. Anger, tension, and anxiety are formidable bunkmates to a good night’s sleep.

We grieve RBG’s death. Many voice extreme anger at where our current administration is taking the country. Anger is almost always a secondary reaction to pain—physical pain (a stubbed toe), emotional pain, and pain of injustices—either toward oneself or toward others around you and the physical world. And now we have a sitting president whose out-sized debt may possibly compromise our national security.

Are we puppets of the media world? Stooges? Roger Ailes, former chairman and CEO of Fox News, used repetition, “the oldest and most effective propaganda technique.” In that sense, he created the news of the day. His listeners believed nothing else mattered in the world or in their lives. Ailes attracted viewers who “did not want television to tell them what happened in the world. They wanted television to tell them how to think about what happened in the world—the news itself would be secondary” (1).

Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved.

2-WHAT GIVES YOU LIFE? What gives you peace and contentment? Search out what interests you—it might take some digging. Visit on-line art exhibits. Some have taken to gardening, others cook or bake, and others develop musical skills. Just because someone raves about how gardening has opened up a whole new way of living for her, that doesn’t mean it’s your way—I have personally sent far too many plants to an early death. I do pull invasive species, however. I know I’m contributing to the greater good of the planet by allowing our native species the space and moisture to flourish, along with the bees, butterflies, insects, and birds that exist symbiotically with the native plants.

3-PRACTICE MINDFULNESS. Or any kind of spirituality that brings you comfort. No right way exists for meditation. You can sit on or off a cushion, use a kneeling bench, walk, recline on the floor. A point of mindfulness is to accept your current situation, your path, your Dao, your emotions, without judgment, and to quiet your monkey brain from all its chatter. 

Check in with yourself on a regular basis. What keeps you connected to your soul? This requires paying attention to the wisdom from our bodies. When emotions fill our chest, head, shoulders, heart—stop and pay attention. Ask yourself, “What do I need?” And be prepared to live with mystery, to live that question. Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved.

Have the hard conversation: “Are you socially distancing? Do you wear a mask?”

4-CONNECT. And after you ask those difficult questions, make decisions based on protecting your own health and those around you. Even the most introverted need some community—some interaction with humans. Talk with friends or family on the phone; connect through Zoom or Google Hangouts. Technically savvy people use Zoom and play games with others, using apps such as jackboxgames.com. 

5-EXERCISE. MOVE. What gets your energy jumping? Dance videos? Karaoke? Move to what gives you joy. Plan how you will be outdoors for those facing an onset of colder weather. 

6-EXTEND COMPASSION—to yourself and others. See my August People House blog for ways to train in compassion.

Get your affairs in order

7-And one more item to bring peace of mind and contentment: get your affairs in order. And age doesn’t matter. As an ordained minister, I’m called upon to assist when people begin thinking of passing, how they will write this next chapter of life. The National Institute of Aging lists four components of end of life planning: 1) completing an advance directive (AD) or living will, 2) appointing an individual with durable power of attorney for health care, 3) having a document for distribution of assets, and 4) specifying preferences for type and place of care (3). These apply to younger adults also, with the addition of providing for any dependent children.

No one likes to think of death and dying or discuss this with loved ones. But make it easier on everyone concerned by being a responsible adult. Take control of these decisions as much as you can.

If we’ve learned anything from this sudden upheaval of our lives, it’s that life is unpredictable. It is indeed a mystery to be lived.

Notes & Sources: 

1. Gabriel Sherman, The Loudest Voice in the Room: How Roger Ailes and Fox News Remade American Politics. 2014. Random House.
2. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/05/magazine/fly-casting-on-city-streets-is-weird-thats-why-i-love-it.html
3. https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/getting-your-affairs-order

About the Author: Rev. Mary Coday Edwards is a Spiritual Growth Facilitator and People House Minister. A life-long student of spirituality, Mary spent almost 20 years living, working, and sojourning abroad in Asia, Southeast Asia, East Africa, and Latin America before finding her spiritual connection at People House and completing its Ministerial Program. Past studies include postgraduate studies from the University of South Africa in Theological Ethics/Ecological Justice, focusing on the spiritual and physical interconnectedness of all things. With her MA in Environmental Studies from Boston University, abroad she worked and wrote on environmental sustainability issues at both global and local levels, in addition to working in refugee repatriation.

Welcome to the beginning of the final quarter of an extremely difficult year. A global pandemic, social, political unrest and economic turmoil as well as severe, unprecedented weather and climate events have left us weary, frustrated, disconnected and stressed. Feeling stressed and overwhelmed is certainly one thing my clients, my friends, my family, myself and the broader community around me can all agree on. We’re stressed out. We’re over the pandemic even as it is not yet over. 

So, let’s check in. When was the last time you paused and touched base with yourself in order to ask, “How am I doing? How has this terrible, frightful year been impacting me moment to moment? How am I right now?” Pausing to get a glimpse of what your body and nervous system are experiencing is a critical step toward managing stress and soothing a dialed-up threat system. Mindfulness pioneer Jon Kabat-Zinn teaches that “Our physiological/psychological balance, stable though it is, can be pushed over the edge into dysregulation and disorder if it is taxed beyond its limits to respond and adapt” (Kabat-Zinn, p. 248).  And, typically, in our culture, we’re not taught how to recognize the physical clues our body offers that tell us that we have reached our threshold of tolerance for stress or we’ve even been pushed beyond it… meaning we may lash out at ourselves and others unconsciously creating disharmony in our relationships and yucky stress related sensations in our bodies. The key is to learn our unique stress signals before we simply react, mindlessly. “This simple momentary shift from mindless reaction to mindful recognition can reduce the power of the stress reaction and it’s hold over you. In that moment you now have a very real choice. You can still go the route of the stress reaction, but you no longer have to. You no longer have to react automatically in the same old way every time your buttons get pushed. You can respond instead out of your greater awareness of what is happening” (Kabat-Zinn, p. 266). 

The first step in building this muscle of awareness is to learn to bring your attention to your breath. Try it… pause now and breathe. Take slow, deliberate, deep breaths in and even slower breaths out. Notice how the air moves in and out of your body and how your body is impacted by this simple act. Our bodies are ALWAYS breathing… but we rarely pause to notice. “The breath itself is calming, especially when we can tune in to it at the belly. It’s like an old friend, it anchors us, gives us stability” (Kabat-Zinn, p. 269). In this quiet centering we have the opportunity to tune back into our own experience, and be in our BODIES and not just our heads. As you breathe and feel the sensations of breathing, what else do you notice? Pain? Feelings? Tensions? Blankness? All of this is important information about the state of YOU and how you feel in the midst of stress. As you practice sitting, breathing and paying attention to what is present in you in any particular moment, you begin to gather data about yourself, your body and your thoughts, like an impartial observer studying YOU. And you’ll begin to notice the signals and clues your body offers when you begin to feel stressed.  Then you can practice self-care and soothe your nervous system before you spin into reactivity. Learning to pause and notice offers the gift of being able to choose how you want to react in any given moment. Just having that choice reduces stress all by itself. And it could be the key to making it to the end of 2020 with more ease and calm and much less stress. 

Want to begin practicing checking in with yourself? Try this body scan practice, created by Jon Kabat-Zinn, as part of his Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction program. 

References:

Kabat-Zinn, Jon. (2013). Full catastrophe living: using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. New York: Bantam Books.

Michelle is a mother, a partner, a friend, a spiritual seeker, a psychotherapist and someone who enjoys connecting with herself using a mindfulness meditation practice. She has a BA in Communications and Humanities from the University of Colorado and an MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling with a concentration in Mindfulness-based Transpersonal Psychology from Naropa University. Michelle’s practice, Soul Care Counseling, offers mindfulness-based practices that support clients seeking to become less anxious, less stressed, less reactive and more grounded, present and connected with their own inner ally. As a result of their work together, clients are able to communicate with themselves and others with greater clarity, care and compassion.  https://michellelaborde.com/

After posting that blog, I reflected on the pain and difficult emotions that can arise when we find ourselves outside of our comfort zone. Sometimes we push ourselves into a place of the uncomfortable and, other times, we find ourselves there following or in the midst of a situation or event that is undesired and perhaps out of our control. This could be learning of an affair, a divorce, a trauma, a health crisis, loss of a job or a loved one, etc. And for the current situation living through a global pandemic. Whatever it is—and we’ve all experienced at least one event or situation in our lives that created significant discomfort—the emotions that arise when we feel stressed or scared are worth exploring. Emotions can serve as important messengers, if we pay attention to them. It’s hard to slow down in this world—especially so when we feel like we’re in the throes of crisis or dealing with the aftermath of a fire—but by taking a mindful moment to reflect on our emotions and explore what our emotions are trying to tell us, what can be an otherwise uncomfortable experience becomes an opportunity for discoveries, personal growth and even significant transformation. We can’t tell in the beginning what the transformation will be as it is a lived through experience. It is in looking back we can see the path of transformation.

Discovering The Beauty Beneath the Fire

A few weekends ago, my partner and I were up in Pike National Forest near Woodland Park in the Hayman Fire area in Colorado. The Hayman Fire of 2002 burned for more than 30 days and scorched to the ground 138,000 acres, causing $42 million losses in housing costs alone. This is a place that we’ve visited often, both pre and post fire, and as we cruised around on our ATVs I was struck by the devastation as well as the resilient rebounding of nature. The loss of mature old growth trees revealed the unique beauty of the landscape of the forest that had been unexposed before the fire. I was able to witness what I fondly call ‘The Baby Forest’ returning to life with a thriving diversity of plants, flowers, shrubs and trees that could not fully develop when the old forest overshadowed the floor before the Hayman Fire. I could see rocks, cliffs and other amazing features in the overall landscape, which are usually hidden. You can notice them in the photos I took of the area. Also notice the ‘Baby Forest’ filling in the scorched land. When life is going along in an automatic routine in usual fashion, we generally do not notice the underlying features of who we are as unique individuals with a unique history. Sometimes it takes a fire of some sort to bring both new things and the long overshadowed to the surface.

All this got me thinking about how we all experience fires in our lives—whether we started them ourselves or they were lit up by another. When dealing with a forest fire in our own lives, it can be hard to see the forest through the trees or see the fire as an opportunity to experience or grow something different. But, there can be beauty and eventual growth in the wake of any destruction. And, when we feel into our emotions, seeking messages and learning from a painful experience, what we rebuild is oftentimes more fulfilling than what was there before. One thing is for sure, however. When a forest fire sweeps across the landscape of your life causing devastation, something new will happen. Today we are trying to put the forest fire out across the globe. We are and will create something new.

On this note, I asked a forest ranger we met on our ride about the fire and what has occurred in the ecosystem and environment since Hayman Fire. The ranger said that, in a way, the fire was actually good for the area. A balance of flora and fauna was restored. Plants once overshadowed by the looming trees now had a chance to thrive, which was improving the vitality of wildlife, particularly the deer, in the area. We saw an abundance of wildlife on our excursions through the burn area. While initially scary and even devastating, there can be beauty, growth and opportunity to be found beneath or in the wake of any fire—mental, emotional or physical. It can be challenging, but it boils down to a matter of taking the time, however long or short, to sit with the pain compassionately and then seek the wisdom that resides within the experience. Letting yourself recover with a sense of curiosity and knowing a new ‘Baby Forest’ will spring forth within you that holds lessons valuable to your life.

The Beauty of Change 

I invite you to think back on one of the forest fires of your life. You’re in the midst of one now, think back to a previous one—we all usually have a few. Remember, it may have been that you felt you wanted to quit when the pain felt too heavy and hard to bear. And, like many humans before and among you, you may have fought the pain, not realizing that fighting pain just increases the intensity of it. What we resist persists, and that is certainly true of pain. Allow yourself room to experience the present with whatever might show up be it fear, anxiety, anger and even numbness. Today it feels surreal to me. I am curious and impatient like a teenager. 

However, when we recognize that everything is impermanent—the fire you were thinking about eventually went out, right?—including your pain, it becomes more endurable. And, there is strength and security of self to be discovered when we’re in the throes of a fire. Think about where you are today versus where you were when a particularly devastating fire ignited in your life. Do you feel stronger knowing that you got through it? Did you develop increased trust in your ability to navigate a challenging situation, walk through the fire and come out the other side?

The secret to happiness isn’t the absence of pain or thinking you’re skilled in the art of avoiding it. Rather, it’s learning to embrace change and to lean into and accept pain and other emotions as part of your life experience. It’s also about seeing in hindsight that you have proved yourself capable, even if you fell apart some (we all do and that’s totally okay). But, you got where you are today through these experiences and tomorrow you will probably learn something new about yourself and the world. And, by accepting that what you know and experience today will change and then change again tomorrow, you’re able to embark on a path to greater fulfillment—even if it sometimes includes the pain that comes with stepping (or being pushed) out of what you think you know…today.

Embrace Change and Create Something New

It’s human nature to resist change, although it’s the only thing in this world that we can 100 percent count on. What would you like to let go of and change today? How has something devastating, like a forest fire, ended up becoming a gift in your life? How can you tap into the beauty of change and nurture something new? And, if you need a little more inspiration, check out 21 Insightful Quotes On Embracing Change from success.com, with quotes from people like Henry Ford, JFK, Bill Clinton and Lao Tzu.

About the Author: Brenda Bomgardner is in her encore career. One of her greatest joys is seeing people move beyond life’s roadblocks toward a fulfilling and meaningful life. She believes each person has a purpose in life waiting to be realized that evolves over a lifetime. And the path to reaching life’s purpose is as unique as each individual. We all have dreams. Step by step she will walk with you on uncovering how to bring your dreams to fruition.  Brenda is a counselor, coach and clinical supervisor specializing in practicing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy/Training (ACT) which is a cutting edge evidenced-based processes. This means there is scientific research proven to show ACT works. Before becoming a therapist, she completed a successful 17-year career in Human Resources at a Fortune 500 company. On a personal note she loves the great outdoors, ATV riding, adventure travel and family. To learn more about Brenda visit her About Me page. 

What we are experiencing on the planet is unprecedented. Never before have we had the magnitude of global interconnection and communication during a crisis that affects every human being, as we are experiencing in this moment.  

Much of humanity is focused on the media, the daily changes in life and the effect it is having on distant parts of the globe as the Covid-19 virus circulates around the world. 

Where is your focus and attention going?

You don’t need to listen to the news to know something remarkably uncommon is occurring. You can see it on the empty streets, with the closing of schools, people being sent home to work, and empty shelves at the grocery stores.  You can see it in your personal life and how it has affected your livelihood. Now, people are self-isolating or sheltering in place either by choice or because they have to.  

As you observe this phenomenon what are you experiencing inside? 

Does fear arise? Does confusion, panic or astonishment arise? Are you at peace?  Do you enjoy the “alone” time? Perhaps you are at home with family members that before were all out in the world.  Now you find yourself in constant contact with them. Are you kind? Are you enjoying one another? What is your response?  

It has been just a week, although it seems like a month, since this became a serious enough issue that I thought to take action to be prepared.  Being a pragmatic Virgo, I made a list of items I would need to stay at home for a month or so and set out to purchase them. Lucky to find a parking space at Costco, I started toward the door when a man ran up behind me, “Ma’am take my cart.  There are none in the store.” A bit bewildered, I thanked him for his thoughtfulness. Before entering, a woman holding a bottle of hand sanitizer and wipes swabbed my cart handle. Again, I smiled and thanked her. Inside I beheld a sea of people and baskets.  It might have been daunting yet as I navigated through the crowd, I felt a sense of joy. People were not pushing and shoving, they were actually slowing down and allowing others to get where they needed to go. There was an air of kindness…a sense that all of us were in this together.  Checkout lines were long going all of the way to the back of the store. I rounded an aisle near the front to pick up some protein powder, the last item I needed, and saw a short line. In disbelief, I asked the man standing at the end, “Are you at the end of the line?” “Yes, he replied.”  I had the most delightful time as we conversed noticing our similar feelings and views on keeping a positive loving attitude and approaching the situation from within our heart. Normally, I am not inclined to be so open with a “stranger” but it felt good to share and reflect on our abundance and goodwill.    

If you haven’t noticed, we are witnessing an extraordinary moment. 

A moment when we have an opportunity to awaken to the truth that we are truly One.  One human family, breathing one breath, globally interconnected and interdependent. Is there any doubt now that what happens in China or Italy or the U.S. or Canada or Australia, or Syria, or any country affects every single one of us?  We are joined physically, mentally, emotionally, economically and spiritually.     

You can look at the virus as a demon or as transformer.  It is showing us that we All Breathe the Same Air. We are One Breath.  We are not Separate. We are one global family. With that understanding the question becomes, how do we respond as One Being?  How do we lift our consciousness to a higher level of Care for One another?    

There is so much I have thought about over the past days with so much to say…and so little to say.  We are in Unknown Uncharted waters. Isn’t that the greatest fear? We cannot know for certain what lies ahead.  The world has turned upside down and in the outer world there seems to be no stability. Our healthcare, economic, social systems, and leaders are showing their vulnerabilities.  No one is immune. This tiny creature is raising All of our personal and systemic vulnerabilities to the surface.    

As strange as it sounds, that is the Gift. 

We are getting a clear view of our response or reaction to this crisis.  Distractions are few. We are at a standstill. When have you ever seen the world Stop Doing?  We have been running around willy-nilly doing, doing, doing with endless thoughtless busyness. We have been so preoccupied with doing life that we have not stopped to see where we are going.  What have we created? How are we impacting each other? How are we impacting all of life?

In a moment of fantasy, I had a Sci-Fi vision of Mother Earth creating this microbe to get rid of humans.  We would not be missed. In actuality, the earth is taking a deep breath right now. Water in the canals of Venice is clearing and fish and dolphins are populating the waters.  Pollution in cities is abating as cars, trucks, businesses and factories are shut down. Animals and other creatures are happily carrying on. We humans are the ones in crisis.         

We are in a pivotal moment in consciousness.  We have a great opportunity to pause and observe without judgment but with great discernment our habitual conditioned response to life.  We invest lots of our energy in attempting to control just about everything. It is a basic reaction to ensure survival and it can also be our greatest downfall.  There are a zillion different views on what and how to control the outer world and other people in order to be secure.

How secure do you feel right now?

Can you awaken from the trance?  You have never been able to control the outer world.  External stability is fleeting. The only place where true stability resides is inside of you.  A great teaching is offered in turning inward. Through this extraordinary circumstance you have a chance to glimpse the eternal part of you that is constant.  Here resides a core of centeredness and stability that is awareness. You have the power of choice in how you respond to whatever you experience. 

As you approach life from this pillar of timeless balance, you are coherent with the ebb and flow of life.  You are able to observe and choose responses that enhance life. Innovative and creative solutions abound in times like these.  Already, we are seeing people creating new and exciting ways to deal with work. Others are using their skills to find solutions to save people’s lives.  What we know for sure is that we are all in this together. We are having a rare Shared Experience. I trust we will adapt. Humans are resourceful and resilient.  We are in the midst of an upgrade in consciousness if we choose it.  

As you move inward into your heart and know without a doubt that we are One, you will respond with care for all humans, for all creatures, and for our dear planet.  

This is our challenge and how we respond will be written in our memories for all time.  

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Dorothy Wallis is a former intern at People House in private practice with an M.A. in Marriage and Family Therapy.  She is a Psychotherapist, Certified Relational Life Therapist, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, and an International Spiritual Teacher at the forefront of the consciousness movement for over thirty years grounded in practices of meditation, family systems, relationships, and emotional growth.  Her work reflects efficacious modalities of alternative approaches to healing for individuals and couples based upon the latest research in science, human energy fields, psychology, and spirituality. 

As a leader in the field of emotional consciousness and the connection to mind, body and spirit, her compassionate approach safely teaches you how to connect to your body, intuition and knowing to clear emotional wounds and trauma at the core.  The powerful Heartfulness protocol empowers your ability to join with your body’s innate capacity to heal through holistic Somatic, Sensory and Emotional awareness. 

www.TheDorWay.com and www.Heartfulnesspath.com