Contrast. It is a term used frequently in the creative world.

Art, writing and film almost always need to contain contrast in order to be impactful. The most stunning works are those that have the highest level of contrast. The Count of Monte Cristo, for example, is memorable because of contrast. If the protagonist had not lost everything he had in such a dramatic fashion, his rise back to prominence would not be quite so gripping. In fine art, contrasting colors and empty spaces might be used to create a similar, visually contrasting effect. The same goes for movies and music. These moments of contrast are powerful and cause the consumer to take a deeper look into why the contrast exists.

I believe that this effect is deeply important.

To stop, look, and analyze why the artist decided to do the things they did. But even more so, I believe we can take this same idea and apply it to the contrasting experiences that we live through on a daily basis. 

In therapy, I often tell my clients that the goal of our work is not to attain happiness, but rather to be able to experience happiness along with the entire spectrum of human emotions, to understand that happiness is not a permanent destination to be arrived at, but rather a moment or series of moments to be enjoyed when they present themselves. If we were to be happy all the time, we would find it difficult to appreciate that happiness because we have nothing to compare it to. 

While I don’t necessarily think we need to seek out hardship, I believe it has a particular importance in being able to appreciate and be grateful for what one has. Without hardship we would simply have the expectation that things are going to be perfect, and if they were perfect all the time we would have a hard time being grateful because we would have no basis of comparison to a time when things weren’t perfect. A total lack of hardship is pretty unlikely, as most of us have gone through something difficult at some point in our lives and through those experiences we learn the grit and resilience necessary to make it through the next challenge. Those who avoid hardship or failure rarely grow into people who will take risks to make their lives better. Failure and success are in direct contrast, and you would be hard pressed to find many successful people who did not experience failure at some point in their career.

For many, failure can be the most motivating factor for success. 

It is fundamentally important that we look back at our past challenges, hardships and failures with a sense of wonder and not a sense of judgment or victim hood. Understanding why we have made the decisions we have made lets us know ourselves better, and allows us to make better choices in the future. We are able to look back and see where we came from and how we have evolved. This is a lifelong process, and being able to see the contrast allows us to appreciate how far we have come, have gratitude, and be prepared for whatever the future might bring.

About Rich Brodt

I provide therapy and counseling for individuals. My style integrates various techniques, but I tailor my approach to each client’s unique needs. I am committed to helping people that experience anxiety resulting from trauma, work-related stress, legal issues or major life transitions. Together, we will work to calm your mind and create lasting change.

Keeping in line with the themes from my previous piece, I want to take a closer look into the Enneagram and why it can be so useful for healing professionals to use with their clients. I believe that the Enneagram is a tool that can be useful for most people. For those who are unfamiliar, the Enneagram is a personality-typing tool that allows the individual to self-assess and decide which of 9 different personality types they fall into. With further screening and study, the typing becomes more specific, and each type is broken into its own sub-types. These become more important for advanced study, however, I believe most people can benefit by simply learning more about their general type. 

There are many reasons why the Enneagram is helpful for personal growth.

To me, the most important thing this tool provides is increased awareness. There is a variety of literature on the Enneagram, ranging from spiritual, to philosophical, to academic – this means there is a point of entry for just about anyone who is interested. In reading literature about one’s type, patterns of behavior begin to present themselves. While it is rare for someone to engage in every single behavior of a certain type, this knowledge of general behaviors allows one to identify the unhealthy patterns they have developed over the course of their life. 

As awareness increases through work with the Enneagram, it becomes easier to challenge those negative behaviors. 

Since we have already established that the individual identifies with certain behaviors, the language of the Enneagram makes it easier for the healer to address and challenge those behaviors with a mutual vocabulary. Additionally, each type has places where they become stuck or unable to push through some difficulty. The Enneagram gives the healer the ability to focus more directly on what may be causing the difficulty. 

Additionally, the Enneagram helps the individual understand who they are. 

The behaviors outlined in the plethora of Enneagram material are not meant to define who each of us is individually. They are meant to show how a person changes over time and develops certain behaviors as a way to avoid pain. Through talk therapy or coaching, an individual then is able to become more aware of when their behavioral crutches are impeding their progress as a person, or limiting them in relationships, career or life in general. They can make the choice to be more aware, and perhaps break those behavioral patterns that previously defined them.

As I mentioned in my last post, the Enneagram also helps us to understand each individual’s ego response. These responses vary from type to type, but are often similar within specific types. Identifying the ego response is important, because it helps us to understand an individual’s attachment to a particular type of behavior. Generally, we are attached to behaviors that have helped us in the past. The Enneagram differentiates the person from the behaviors and, tells us that our behaviors, though we are attached to them, may no longer serve us. This level of awareness is where change seems to happen rapidly. 

About Me, I provide therapy and counseling for individuals. My style integrates various techniques, but I tailor my approach to each client’s unique needs. I am committed to helping people that experience anxiety resulting from trauma, work-related stress, legal issues or major life transitions. Together, we will work to calm your mind and create lasting change.

At various times throughout my forays into writing I have delved into the current political climate of the United States. And yet again, we find ourselves at one of the most divisive times in our history. I’ve touched on issues with confirmation bias and the inability to accept opposing viewpoints based on the information targeted towards each of us individually on any given day. As the headlines for a potential impeachment of our president have continued to roll in, I began to wonder where this divide started. While the Democratic and Republican parties have always been at odds and taken different stances on social and financial issues, it seems that the ability to find a middle ground has all but disappeared. 

I feel that congress provides a pretty clear depiction of just how divided we are as a nation.

If we look back at history, it is easy to see how bipartisan voting had a positive impact on society. In fact, with support from a large portion of Republicans, the Civil Rights Act of 1964 would not have passed due to many southern Democrats opposing the bill. So how, then, have we gotten to a point in our history where new legislation impacting the American people receives almost no bipartisan support, with almost every individual in congress voting solely along party lines? 

The answer to that question is quite complex, however, I feel that it is at least partially related to a corporate American culture that overwhelmingly promotes and commoditizes the insecurities of its people. Advertising, in its earliest form, really only started in the 1950s as a way to get knowledge about new products to a growing consumer base after WW2. Since then, marketing has shifted and found ways to insert advertisements in almost every area of our lives. 

We cannot read the news without having items marketed to us. Pop-up advertisements on the side of our screens regularly distract us from what we are reading and lure us into an online shop, specifically targeted at us based on our other activity on the internet. There is an entire marketing industry built on selling you products when you believe you are simply reading an article about a particular topic. Health and wellness magazines and blogs regularly take money from corporations to list their products as the best, and they conveniently add hyperlinks to said products so that we can easily take the next step and purchase them. 

These advertisements target our insecurities, and the message is clear: you could be thinner, happier, smarter, more lovable if you purchase this product. 

And not all of us are receiving the same messages, each is targeted to our own insecurities, and creates a feedback loop where we’re regularly having these messages hammered home. 

Couple these messages with the explosion of social media platforms and it isn’t difficult to see how we have become so unsure of ourselves and come to believe that we will not be enough without attaining x, y or z. In fact, social media is probably one of the most insidious peddlers of goods we don’t need. On Instagram, for example, attaining “influencer” status simply means that as an individual you have amassed enough followers that companies are now willing to pay you to covertly advertise their products to your fans and admirers – again, creating a situation where individuals are getting the message that they can attain a higher social status by using a particular product. 

So how does all of this distort our political reality and beliefs?

It does this because regular feelings of insecurity and poor self-image change the way that we view the world. When people begin to feel insignificant or inferior, they begin to lose touch we reality, feeling as though they are victimized by the fact that others have what they do not. They stop trusting others, and become paranoid, causing them to reject viewpoints that do not align with their own worldview. They withdraw from society and reject the positive traits that others might offer because they conflict with their own feelings about themselves. They attack opposing political views because they believe that the other side must be out to get them in some way – a form of projection caused by their paranoia. They create alternate scenarios and narratives that back their own viewpoints, leading to an even louder echo chamber. 

I want it to be clear that I am not saying one side of the political spectrum is doing this more than others. 

I think it happens for most people to varying degrees, but the more either side views themselves as being backed into a corner, the stronger their drive to eviscerate opposing viewpoints will be.  

I doubt there is a solution to these trends in marketing, they are likely to become even more insidious as times goes on. However, I do feel that each of us, as individuals, can take steps to understand what is happening and move away from it by spending less time on social media, and by being open and honest about our insecurities and beliefs – creating dialogues in the real world that are not dependent on technology. Of course, we cannot wholly reject technology as there are countless benefits from our ability to connect using that technology. However, we must be mindful of what we consume and what we sacrifice as a result of these benefits.

About Rich Brodt

I provide therapy and counseling for individuals. My style integrates various techniques, but I tailor my approach to each client’s unique needs. I am committed to helping people that experience anxiety resulting from trauma, work-related stress, legal issues or major life transitions. Together, we will work to calm your mind and create lasting change.