Was the language used in your childhood delivered with love or fear. If the style is fear the organism senses the fear the organism goes into protection mode. Muscles contract, blood supply is routed to the muscles preparing for fight or flight, the organs of the body are deprived of vital blood and nutritive fluids, which also suppresses the immune system. 

To the contrary, messages sent with loving support enables the organism to flourish, be strong, and healthy. This process becomes what can be viewed as a homeostatic calibration of the infant/toddler’s Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) or what I like to refer to as “presets”.  Presets are kind of like the settings in a computer.  These settings tell the computer how to process pieces of information as the information is input to the operating system. Whenever an individual perceives a sense of disconnection (this could be facial expression, body language, verbal miscues, communication confusions, or even subtle “energetic” cues nonverbally) the ANS can fall back on the pre-verbal response patterns (preset) and could have the system wide hyper-excitation the infant/toddler experienced. 

This may appear somewhat complex, but we all know how this feels.  For many there is a “sinking” sensation that could be accompanied by an increase in heart rate and maybe nausea (anxiety or panic) associated with feeling like we did something wrong in the relationship.  This is not limited to a relationship outside of us.  It can happen internally in our self-perceptions also and becomes associated with self-concept.  At any rate, on a homeostatic level, our bodies are in neuro-hormonal excitation (stress response) which an aspect of is suppression of the immune system. 

The fact that this response (shame) is a preverbal phenomenon makes it an insidious event.  As an aspect of the “autonomous” nervous system it lies in wait, vigilant to attach itself to any experience that may be deemed a bit uncertain.  I consider it the “free radical” of emotion in that it attaches to experiences like the free radical attaches to the open bond of any molecule.  The resolution of this response is the expressed Love and nurturing of the care giver which, in the long run, becomes Self Love; Love is the “antioxidant”. 

From the work of Bruce Lipton (The Biology of Belief, and The Biology of Perception [DVD series}) we learn that the cell membrane is prepared to respond to the “environment” in the most effective way to insure survival of the cell.  In an environment bombarded with uncertainty and inadequate nurturing the cell membrane is proliferated with “excitation” receptors.  This limits responses and behaviors to that range of expression. 

The neuro-hormonal recipe that goes with this experience creates a scenario of anxiety, uncertainty, self-doubt, self-judgment, and powerlessness.   

The language of the body is non-judgmental. A sensation appears it merely implies pay attention. It doesn’t mean something is wrong, right, up or down, it just is. If we have a belief about ourselves like “there’s something wrong with me” or “I’m not good enough” then we interpret our sensation through those screens and the sensation will intensify. To really “know” what a sensation implies we need to allow its presence and be with it. It may only be asking us to breathe and let go, no naming necessary. 

The issue becomes, then, when the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) is set for alarm. This happens for numerous reasons: diminutive self-beliefs (mentioned above) or traumas (current or historic-closed head injuries, physical or sexual abuse). All these events interface with perception and this determines what actions need to be taken. The current rise in Trauma Therapies comes as a result of a deeper understanding of the ANS and has afforded many with tools to short-cut the ANS. In order to make the appropriate response to any situation we need to see it clearly and Trauma Therapies are equipped with tools to enable this process. 

An effective tool used in many Spiritual Processes and by self-growth systems like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, The Course in Miracles and such is belief inventories. Beliefs are the foundation of perception. As a system of survival beliefs form the environment we occupy. In essence, perception creates the information the cellular community needs to negotiate survival. Information enters the organism though the senses then into brain centers that process the information. In perception theory literature we understand that once processed the “best guess” is elicited followed by behavior.  

This is where it gets tricky; is the “best guess” accurate? This all depends on what the aggregate beliefs provide information for the “best guess”. If the environment has taught us uncertainty and fear the ANS is going to go into hyperdrive, and we will respond as such. This shows up as reactivity to a situation. It could show as anxiety, aggressiveness, or “spacing out” but what is needed is a moment to slow down, connect with the breath and assess what is actually presenting itself other than what we think is presenting. 

The Somatic experience is a wordless space. It is the space aimed at in the practice of Meditation. It is a place where we can make contact with the body without trying to name every sensation or figure out what is going on. A challenge with today’s world is there is so much information available to us and it is a natural impulse to pursue it thinking we are building a knowledge base. Mind you, information has its perks, but fueled by fear it becomes an untamable brush fire. The cell, our cellular community, wants to be set free from our personal perception so it can do the job it is designed to do for the betterment of life. 

When you catch the sensation of a perception, you are at a choice point. Can you expand in your heart to trust you know what is needed or do you shrink away and distrust?

About the Author: Chardin has been an Adjunct Practitioner at People House since 1998. He is the creator of Advanced Body Therapeutics (ABT). It is a new orientation of creating synergy in the body systems.  ABT uses assessment tools from Osteopathic Theory, Chinese Five Element Theory, Applied Kinesiology, Yoga Therapy, Polyvagal Theory, and Structural Therapies to determine the relationship of the metabolic systems of the body as well as address common structural issues related to stress or trauma.

The goal in his body work is to create balance in the body and neutralize the polyvagal responses. In doing so, it reduces pain, calms emotion upset, and strengthens the immune system.

Chardin’s web address is www.abtherapeutics.net

Accessing new information from the field of Epigenetics we can get a clearer picture on how the “organism” manages this. I refer to it as the “organism” because what we’re working with here is the “cellular community” (Bruce Lipton, Biology of Perception). You see, it’s about the cell and its survival and to accomplish this, the cell picks up information from the environment (via the neurochemistry of perception), establishes what needs to happen, and manufactures the appropriate neurochemistry for response. Perception is based on what we “believe” the situation is. Perception Theory describes perception as the conglomerate of all our sensate information fed into different areas of our brain then we make our “best guess“ at what we are seeing. 

This is where it gets tricky. A good example is some of the Projective Tests used in Psychological Assessment. Let’s take the Thematic Apperception Test first. The client is presented a picture of a scene like someone sitting next to a bed with a person in the bed. Show this scene to 20 different people and you may get 20 different stories about what is going on based on the experience of the person viewing the scene. The scene is seen as loaded with emotion and is interpreted in several different ways. Another good one is the Rorschach Ink Blots, rarely does someone say, “it’s an ink blot” and if they did, they would probably be diagnosed sociopathic. 

What did our “family culture” teach us about the world and our experience? I saw a recent quote in an email from Einstein: “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality that you want, and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.” This really points to the need of what’s known as a “paradigm shift”. What we are taught at an early age is not the full truth about what the world is and, for most, there is no challenge to make such a shift until their “world gets rocked”. Now, remember the issue of perception, we don’t see actual objects, we don’t hear actual sounds, we don’t smell actual smells, we don’t taste actual tastes, we don’t touch actual objects, we receive various forms of information that is processed in the brain then we make our best guess. It’s amazing that we can navigate the environment and operate in the world with everybody “making their best guess”. I used to think that the story of “The Tower of Babel” was about the various languages and cultures on the planet (he spread them to all the corners of the world and gave them different tongues), but now I’m inclined to believe this story a vision of the workings of perception and the “Tower of Babel” is in our heads. 

So, here we are at thinking as a dissociative process, wondering how in the world can we actually “know” anything. Whenever we “separate a group of mental processes from the rest of the mind” we are not in contact with the world; we are lost in our own world. Whenever I cannot break free of my assumptions of the world based on my own belief structure, my thoughts can be only dissociative. The answer to the question about “knowing” is we can’t “know” exactly what we perceive, we make our best guess, and if our action and choice are in harmony with “unity” we won’t tread on another harmfully. I believe that what Meditation attempts to teach us is slow down, pay attention to our breath, come to now, and act compassionately. To do so is to promote life in myself and the world and realize that everyone is making their best guess. 

About the Author: Chardin has been an Adjunct Practitioner at People House since 1998. He is the creator of Advanced Body Therapeutics (ABT). It is a new orientation of creating synergy in the body systems.  ABT uses assessment tools from Osteopathic Theory, Chinese Five Element Theory, Applied Kinesiology, Yoga Therapy, Polyvagal Theory, and Structural Therapies to determine the relationship of the metabolic systems of the body as well as address common structural issues related to stress or trauma.

The goal in his body work is to create balance in the body and neutralize the polyvagal responses. In doing so, it reduces pain, calms emotion upset, and strengthens the immune system.

Chardin’s web address is www.abtherapeutics.net

“We will never be able to really love ourselves until we go beyond the need to make life wrong.”  

What does she mean by this? Most of us have an inner critic, often the voice of a parent, that is all too happy to tell us, over and over, just how badly we are failing at life. This voice is ready to chide us for all our little faults and mistakes. Perhaps the critic whose lectures we listen to has the best intentions for us- she or he may motivate us to do better or to change habits that aren’t good for us. 

Where does the critical voice come from? Why do we listen? Why do we fight within ourselves for the right to love ourselves? Why do we focus so much on what is wrong with us, comparing ourselves to others and finding ourselves lacking?

It is a basis of therapy that self-love is the necessary attribute one must have to be able to love others. “All love starts with self-love.” (Also Louise Hay) Many people find themselves in unloving relationships; or if they are in a loving relationship, they may sabotage it; they may be aware they are doing it but unable to stop.

They may say,  ”I know I am doing this to myself, but I don’t understand why. Or how to stop.”

What is self-love?

I think for many of us, self-love sounds like selfishness or self-centeredness; we may think the idea of self-love sounds too grand for us. We don’t want to get too big for our britches. Self-love can be called other things- self-respect, self-esteem, self-care, self-acceptance. Perhaps these seem less self-important.  But the Self is important; it is from this sense of who we are and a sense of our beingness in the world that we are able to grow and thrive in in our environment. It is essential to believe- to know – that I belong here, that I have a right to be here, that my existence matters and has meaning.

If I have grown up the victim of trauma or abuse, if I have been told or shown that I am unlovable, how do I grow a sense of self that does not efface, that asserts and claims the good stuff of life for itself? How do I develop the ability to love without guilt and shame, the sense that I deserve to love and be loved? 

This is challenging.

We are all bombarded with messages of the many ways we don’t measure up, and it can be from parents, churches, TV, school, friendships. We learn to compare ourselves to others, and often find ourselves wanting. Yet there is always a core, a spark inside each of us- that is the inner Self saying,   “I know I am a good person, a caring person. I shouldn’t always be so down on myself. “ Maybe I don’t want to teach my children to be the same way I am. Maybe I am just sick of beating myself up. Something tells me I can be happy, I can be loved; I can express myself in the world safely. 

This is the spark of our essence speaking, asking to be cared for and nurtured. This is the flame of Self that exists in each person, no matter how it may have been dimmed by life experiences. And this is the spark that we address and nurture through therapy, through meditation, through seeking the quiet space within us and loving it, and giving it room to grow and expand.

Learning Self-love is a process of shedding, letting go of any belief of being fundamentally flawed or unworthy. By challenging these beliefs, we may be able to begin to let them go. Challenging negative beliefs about one’s Self begins with acknowledging that these thoughts exist, by mindfully paying attention to the mental chatter that often fills our heads and our days.

It is by letting go of some of my negative beliefs and learning to really know myself that I am able to get to know this core, this spark, this Self.  And by knowing it, I can begin to love it, and to love myself.

Faye Maguire, MA, LACC, is a People House private practitioner working with youth and adults, using a transpersonal approach to therapy. Counseling is her second career, after being a business owner for nearly 30 years. She enjoys working with people experiencing life transitions, grief and loss, depression, anxiety, trauma, addictions, relationship issues, and figuring out life’s direction, using a holistic approach. Please contact her at 720-331-2454 or at fayemaguire@gmail.com for more information.

We often hear about “treating the whole person”, which is an acknowledgement that modern Western medicine and psychology has, in practice, separated human beings in disparate parts and treated those parts as if they exist in a vacuum, unconnected to the rest of the person. Medicine has become the domain of specialists, highly educated in a specific area of health. In many ways, psychology has also become the domain of specialists, and it can be difficult for clients and patients to untangle the different modalities and discover which treatment will best serve their needs.

It seems as if physicians treat the body and counselors treat the mind and emotions.

Spiritual practices also may have contributed to this separation, as they have often placed the person’s spiritual needs above and beyond the physical and the realm of emotional life, imparting the belief that one’s eternal soul is a more important concern than physical needs and health. Spiritual leaders often give up many quotidian needs in the service of their spiritual well being.  However, Abraham Maslow recognized in his hierarchy of needs that one must have their basic physical needs met before being able to pursue spiritual goals.

It seems that science has taken us apart in order to learn about how we work, and that spirit calls out to put us back together.

How do we “put a person back together”, therapeutically? 

Perhaps I have experienced childhood or adult physical or emotional trauma, neglect, or other life experiences that have taught me that life is to be feared and people, in general, not to be trusted. This may have taught me to “live in my head” by avoiding feeling my body and my emotions. It may have caused me to numb my feelings or misuse my body through drug or alcohol abuse, or by eating disorders, angry outbursts, or self harm. This dissociation from the body is also dissociation from my soul and my spirit. I might be living on auto pilot, disregarding physical symptoms or seeing them as unrelated to my thinking mind. I might struggle to articulate what I am feeling.

I may resist feeling at all.

It can be uncomfortable or frightening to allow myself to feel my body or to let myself acknowledge long buried emotions. Sometimes smothered emotions emerge as chronic depression, uncontrolled anger, physical illness, or ongoing anxiety.

Do I say to myself, “I wonder why I am feeling so sad much of the time?” Or “I don’t know where that panic attack came from.” It is as if I am stuck in a level of depression or anxiety and not willing to bring it up into the light and examine it. It could be that looking at is seems just too overwhelming. I might be caught and never be able to free myself from the despair, pain, or anger I am carrying in my body.

But the body and the heart never lie.

My mind can lie to me, because it may be filled with ideas, beliefs, mental habits, opinions, and negative cognitions that come from my family of origin, my culture, physical and emotional trauma, or my religious upbringing. They may not be my truths. By bringing these mental habits, the feelings and emotions I carry in my body, I can free myself from the weight of unexamined fears, memories, and experiences. I can bring my mind into alignment with my body, my soul, and my spirit.

This is true integrity, the integration of my being into living a life that manifests my deepest beliefs, values, and priorities. I am then able to know that my work, my personal relationships, my daily actions are expressing who I truly am as a human being, body, mind, and spirit.

Here is a list of some of my favorite authors on the subject of body, mind and spirit integration:

 Larry Dossey

Carolyn Myss

Rudolph Ballentine

Christian Nothrup

Deepak Chopra

Faye Maguire, MA, LACC, is a People House private practitioner working with youth and adults, using a transpersonal approach to therapy. Counseling is her second career, after being a business owner for nearly 30 years. She enjoys working with people experiencing life transitions, grief and loss, depression, anxiety, trauma, addictions, relationship issues, and figuring out life’s direction, using a holistic approach. Please contact her at 720-331-2454 or at fayemaguire@gmail.com for more information.